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The Punchline (Part 2)/Transcript
DISCLAIMER KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release. (scene opens up with Goku getting launched by Ōzaru Vegeta's attack) ŌZARU VEGETA: What did I tell you, Kakarot? I'm ten times stronger in this form, while you are beaten and weary. GOKU: (thinking) Man, this is worse than that time I was in high school, and all the guys called me "Geeko", and I was Piccolo's slave, I couldn't get Chi-Chi to like me, and... (out loud) Oh wow, I hit that rock harder than I thought. ŌZARU VEGETA: Now, Kakarot, to finish this! GOKU: (thinking) Oh man, what would Yamcha do? (flashback to Yamcha exploding) GOKU: (thinking) Um... um... What would Tien do?! (out loud) Wait, I know! (jumps in front of Ōzaru Vegeta) ŌZARU VEGETA: Prepare to die, Kakarot! GOKU: Solar Flare! (blinds Ōzaru Vegeta and flies away) ŌZARU VEGETA: AAAAH!!! My eyes! Oh God, it's like walking in on Frieza in the shower! Wait a minute, Frieza's always naked. AAAAAAGGGGHHH!!! GOKU: Alright, that should buy me some time, now let's see. Planet, give me your energy-- everything you can spare! ŌZARU VEGETA: (in background) Kakarot, when I find you you're going to die! And not any sort of good death! You’re going to die horribly, terribly, I’m going to eat your... (continues to speak in the background) GOKU: Oceans, forests, people of the planet, and all the animals that live alongside them! (starts glowing) ŌZARU VEGETA: (in background) I’m going to hammer you... (continues to speak in the background) GOKU: There, I think I have enough energy-- but, maybe a little more wouldn't hurt... (scene cuts to a large buck groaning and then collapses) BABY DEER: Daddy? Daddy? (scene cuts back to wastelands) GOKU: (thinking) Alright, that should do it! All finished. ŌZARU VEGETA: (regaining his eyesight) Finally, I can see again. Kakarot, I am going to KILL you! GOKU: Now, take this! Energy from the entire world! (Ōzaru Vegeta fires a mouth blast at Goku) Well, if that don't beat all... (gets hit with the blast, losing the energy for the Spirit Bomb) AAAAAAAAH! (gets knocked into a plateau and onto the ground) ŌZARU VEGETA: Hey, Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken? GOKU: Huh? ŌZARU VEGETA: Christopher Reeves! (crushes Goku's legs) GOKU: (in agony) AAAAAAAOOWWW! That was in terrible taaaaaaste! ŌZARU VEGETA: Don't care; evil! Now, time to crush you like an Arlian. GOKU: A... what? ŌZARU VEGETA: Exactly, now die! (Ōzaru Vegeta prepares to squash Goku with his finger, but Goku retaliates by blasting Ōzaru Vegeta's eye) ŌZARU VEGETA: AAAUGH!! Again with the f***ing eye! God... dammit! GOKU: Hah! Now to make my cunning escape. (shows Goku dodging Ōzaru Vegeta's attacks before jumping into the air... which it turns out to be an imagination in Goku's head) GOKU: Ah, that would be awesome. ŌZARU VEGETA: I've had enough of this. (grabs Goku) I'm going to crush the life out of you, you insolent little... (squeezes Goku) GOKU: AAAAAAGGGH! (scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin flying away) GOHAN: Krillin, are you sure my dad's going to be okay all on his own? KRILLIN: Oh, come on, Gohan, you saw how much stronger your dad's become. I'm sure he can take care of-- GOKU: (in distance) AAAAAAAAH! KRILLIN: Ah, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. (scene shifts back to Goku being crushed by Ōzaru Vegeta) ŌZARU VEGETA: All right, Kakarot, let's hear those bones shatter! (crushes Goku harder, causing him to squeak) What the? (crushes Goku again, causing him to squeak again) My God, that's hilarious! (begins to repeatedly crush Goku, who squeaks while doing so) Hahahah! Muhahaha! GOHAN: (arrives to help his father) Get your filthy hands off him, you damn dirty ape! ŌZARU VEGETA: Oh, very creative. And what exactly will you do if I don't? GOHAN: I'll make you regret it! Law of mass dictates that the mass of an object dramatically increases the force of impact when said object collides with the ground! And with your size, you'll make an extensively large impact upon your inevitable defeat! (long pause) GOKU & ŌZARU VEGETA: What? GOHAN: The bigger they are, the harder they fall! (gets into a battle pose accompanied with a bwong sound) GOKU: What? (Ōzaru Vegeta crushes him again, making him squeak) GOKU: Argh! Stop that! ŌZARU VEGETA: Listen, kid, you're real brave and all, but your dad's beaten and broken. And neither of you have the skill or energy... KRILLIN: Kienzan! (fires a Destructo Disc at Ōzaru Vegeta's tail, who dodges the attack by jumping) ŌZARU VEGETA: ...to take me on. KRILLIN: (offscreen) Dammit! ŌZARU VEGETA: You're finished! All of your planet's greatest fighters—all of them—worthless in the presence of a Saiyan elite! None of you can stop me! None of you! (tail gets cut off by Yajirobe) YAJIROBE: Runningrunningrunningrunningrunning! (runs away) (Ōzaru Vegeta drops Goku) GOKU: (squeaks as he slams the ground) Ow. ŌZARU VEGETA: God... God dammiiiiii... (reverts back to his original form) VEGETA: ...iiiiiit! (starts breathing heavily) KRILLIN: He's back to normal! Gohan, we can do this! We can beat him! WE HAVE A CHAN-- (gets sent flying into a boulder) (Krillin Owned Count: 9) KRILLIN: (in pain) Oh God... VEGETA: (to Gohan, who's whimpering in fear) You know, I thought I'd be angrier, what with the utter humiliation and loss of my tail, or maybe I'm just so unbelievably enraged that I have come full circle. (punches Gohan in the stomach and throws him next to Goku) Oh well. Either way, it's time to put an end to this. GOKU: (telepathically) G-Gohan, is that you? GOHAN: (telepathically) Hey, daddy... I'm... really sorry. GOKU: (telepathically) It's okay, Gohan... You tried your best... At least you got home to your mother and told her to--'' '''GOHAN:' (telepathically) Um, actually, I never went home... I came back to save you... GOKU: (telepathically) Oh... GOHAN: (telepathically) D-Daddy? GOKU: (telepathically) Everyone makes mistakes, Gohan... (reaches out to Gohan's hand) But we have to be strong now, okay? GOHAN: (telepathically) Daddy... (reaches out to Goku's hand) GOKU: (telepathically) Son... (gets kneed in the stomach by Vegeta) (eyecatch animation from DragonBall Z plays) (Goku is seen spitting out blood as Gohan screams in horror) VEGETA: What now, Kakarot? (stomps on Goku's stomach) You damaged me! (begins kicking Goku repeatedly) You cut off my tail! You've insulted me beyond belief. But you still haven't taken my pride! (gets kicked by Gohan) Ow, my pride! (Gohan and Vegeta begin exchanging blows in midair) GOHAN: I'll teach you to hurt my daddy! VEGETA: What are you going to do, huh?! You barely have any energy left! (Gohan elbows Vegeta in the eye) UAGH! (thinking while holding his right eye) Gah! My eye! Why is it always the god damn eye?! GOKU: K-Krillin, come here. I have something to give you. (Krillin limps over to Goku) KRILLIN: Your last will and testament? GOKU: No, it's energy from the entire world. It's our last hope. KRILLIN: And you're giving it to me? GOKU: I'm kinda out of options... (passes the remaining of the Spirit Bomb over to Krillin) KRILLIN: Holy crap! So this is what being important feels like! (Vegeta is seen gaining the upper hand against Gohan, launching him onto the ground) VEGETA: (while walking towards Gohan) Alright, Kakarot. Say goodbye to your son! (begins running towards Gohan) KRILLIN: (thinking) Wow! Such power, from every living being on the planet. I can feel it all surging inside of me. Every man, woman, and child. This is Planet Earth's very essence! (out loud) BOO-YAH, MOTHERF**KER!!! (throws Spirit Bomb at Vegeta) VEGETA: (stops running and notices the Spirit Bomb) Wh-what the hell is-? KRILLIN: ENJOY YOUR STAY IN HELL!!! (Vegeta dodges the Spirit Bomb by jumping) Gyaaaah! God dammit! (continues pouting in background) (Spirit Bomb is seen flying at Gohan) GOKU: (telepathically) Gohan, listen, you have to bounce it back at Vegeta. GOHAN: (telepathically) But, are you sure? I don't think energy works like that. GOKU: (telepathically) Don't worry, Gohan, you can do it. You're a good guy. GOHAN: (telepathically) Oh, okay, if you believe in me then I'll--'' '''GOKU:' (telepathically) Or it'll kill you. GOHAN: (telepathically) What?! (puts his hands out, making a spring sound effect from Sonic the Hedgehog, bouncing the Spirit Bomb back at Vegeta) VEGETA: There's nothing left now-- your last hope and you missed. You're all defeated and there isn't a damn thing you can-- (thinking) What smells like deer? (notices the Spirit Bomb but gets hit at point-blank) WAAAAAH!!! (gets blasted into the sky with the Spirit Bomb) CURSE MY HUBRIS!!! KRILLIN: (jumps into the sky) Yahoo! (rushes towards Goku) Goku, we did it! We won! We beat him with the Spirit Bomb! GOKU: (telepathically) Way to go, you guys. (Gohan starts laughing) KRILLIN: All right, Goku. Let's get you and Gohan home. It's been tough, but now, we'll never have to see that rotten Saiyan ever again. (Vegeta lands next to Goku and Krillin) Alive again. We'll never have to see him alive again, that's what I meant. (approaches Vegeta's motionless body) But at least it's finally over. YAJIROBE: You gonna eat that Saiyan? KRILLIN: Wha-- YAJIROBE: Dibs! KRILLIN: Rrright. Anyway, it seems the Spirit Bomb's done the trick. And with that, we can all go home and live in peace and-- VEGETA: (wakes up) HUAAAAAAAH!! KRILLIN: WAAAAAAHH!! GOHAN: AAAAAAAHH!! YAJIROBE: UAAAAAHHH!! KRILLIN: WAAAAAHH!! VEGETA: AAAAAAH!! GOHAN: AAAAAAAH!! YAJIROBE: UAAAAHHH!! (everyone continues yelling in the background) GOKU: What's going on, guys? We won, right? Category:DBZA Transcripts